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Yankees, Go Home

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It is very possible that Sinbad will have a greater effect on the presidential race than the Royals will have on the American League pennant race. Unlike Sen. Hillary Clinton, the Royals will probably corkscrew into last place in the AL Central, not onto a runway with alumni of Star Search. The boys in blue do have a number of things to keep fans interested: a refurbished stadium and, more important, emerging young stars Billy Butler and Alex Gordon. The Royals also spent heavily to bring in free-agent outfielder José Guillén, who adds his right-handed bat and fills the Royals' quota of players named in the Mitchell Report on performance-enhancing drugs. At 3:10 this afternoon, the Royals welcome the hated New York Yankees. The Yankees bring a massive and massively dysfunctional payroll. That includes Derek Jeter, who always attracts a horde of screaming women with big hair and tattoos. You will not be able to get a ticket, so either beg a friend or take the afternoon off to watch the game from a bar stool. Kansas City Royals
April 8-10, 2008

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