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Sweeney's Sticks Get Some Company

From Blunt to Bodine, we suggest the foods that should go with these celebs.

We may have found the reason that Royals slugger Mike Sweeney has too much junk in his trunk. It could be those beer-battered, deep-fried portabella mushroom slices at the sports bar 810 Zone. Served with a side of Cajun dipping sauce, the $6.95 appetizer is called Sweeney Sticks. In recognition of Sweeney's special sticks, we've come up with a list of other foods we'd like to see named after local celebrities.

· Katie Horner Super Blazing Hot Wings: One bite and you realize there's no reason to be alarmed.

· Dan Glass Po' Boy Subway Sub: Made with caviar, shaved truffles and '85 World Series ticket stubs.

· Lewis W. Diuguid White Guilt Mac and Cheese: Served in a get-it-your-damn-self tub.

· Zach Greinke Fried ArtiCHOKEs: Comes with a side of Heimlich Maneuver.

· Jeneé Osterheldt Whipped Cream Tart: A puff pastry filled with empty calories.

· Jerry Mazer Cheeseburger: Here it is, now get off the Plaza.

· Matt Blunt's Humble Pie: We reserve the right to refuse service to gays.

· Shawn Edwards' Five-Star, Must-See Popcorn: Tastes like buttered Wayans brothers and pops bigger than Riddick II.

· Kay Barnes Frozen Smiles: An icy piña colada molded in the shape of the mayor's grin.

· Stan Glazer Sautéed Large-Mouth Bass: Stuffed with forgotten plans for a 50-foot Ferris wheel.

· Trent Green Scrambled Brains: Really good two seasons ago.

· Mark Funkhouser BL&TIF Sandwich: Big slices of white bread and imitation bacon. But it's cheap.

· Walt Bodine Well-Aged Sirloin: This is served with a side of, um, what were we talking about?

· Larry Johnson's King Pink Taco: Mmm, now we're hungry!

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