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Off the Couch

If your AM radio is on the fritz, catch up on all your sports talk here!

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GH: Joe Hess had more to say than I could fit in my column. Here are some additional nuggets.
"If they put a winning team on the field, you'll have people coming out. Look, they put two million people in the stands here before."
"This [Angel] Berroa comes up from Wichita, and in his first game he gets handcuffed by a ground ball a Little Leaguer could have eaten up. What is he, two years away? Why the hell is he standing in the shortstop spot for?"
"I don't care what a player did last week. I want to know what the scoreboard says he's done for the season. Don't blow that smoke at me telling me what's he's done his last six games. I don't care about that. Please don't do that."
"One of these days you're going to wake up and find that everybody from the Dominican Republic has moved up here and is playing baseball for us. Where are our American kids?"
"I thought the world came to an end in 1951 when Joe DiMaggio retired."
"I had a guy who owns a company in Wichita here to see a game about eight weeks ago. He comes up to me and says, 'You still here?' I told him, 'Yeah. What did you think happened to me?' He said, 'You know, my father brought me to a game here as a kid and you gave me my first baseball.'""I'm not being boastful when I say this, but when Sparky Anderson managed the Detroit Tigers he would walk from that dugout there out here just to talk to me. I was sorry to see him go."
"Ted Williams lacked hustle. He'd loaf around coming in after a ball. He was something like our Amos Otis out here. He never lived up to his qualifications. With the stick, Williams was great, but he wasn't that hot as a fielder. That was a mark against him."
"My wife [Dorothy] gives me twenty bucks to spend at the ballpark for every game. That's all I get. Don't tell her, but I still got the twenty from yesterday."

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