Pee Party: Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar in Westport

We go inside the bathrooms of the dueling piano bar.



From the Ernie Biggs website.
  • From the Ernie Biggs website.
I hang out in Westport a couple of nights a week, every week, but I don't think I knew that the bar to the west of Buzzard Beach was called Ernie Biggs until last summer. I always just knew it as That Dueling Piano Bar That Of Course I Have No Reason To Walk Into. A few months ago, I learned that Biggs (I call it Biggs for short now) kills it on Wednesdays, when the bar offers $1 wells and $1 drafts ALL NIGHT, which is until 1:30 a.m. That's some college-town shit.

Biggs also turned up on my radar this past December, when I heard that Muscle Worship was scheduled to play there on a Sunday night, which struck me as unusual. That show didn't end up panning out, but then last Sunday, I heard the Claque had a gig there, so I figured it was time to investigate. I went, and I saw the Claque blast some rawk, and I drank some $1 Pabst, and I'll tell you what else I did: I urinated. A couple of times, in fact.

It's dark in the BIggs bathrooms, baby. Slick sinks, though. Anytime you're working with a non-white, non-U-shaped sink basin, you know you're riding in style. Everybody knows it's all about the horizontal sink these days.

Here you can see the top of the general urinal setup in the men's room. (Apologies for the lack of ladies-room shots. I was unaware that the friend I sent in was shitfaced drunk, and I discovered the next day that her pictures were all blurry. From what I could tell, though, it was very sterile in there and mostly similar to the men's.) It's kind of a maze situation with the urinals. I'm into it. Lots of privacy, lots of barriers. Ninety-degree angles. Just this nice little pen of six urinals.

Pretty maids all in a row. Have we discussed colored urinals before? I'm a fan. Nothing says class like a jet-black commode.

My boy Scoops actually took all these pictures, but when he handed me his phone to look at them, I took a picture of him urinating. Adds context, I think.

The bottom line on Biggs' bathrooms: Class act all the way.

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