Pee Party: Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar in Westport

We go inside the bathrooms of the dueling piano bar.

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From the Ernie Biggs website.
  • From the Ernie Biggs website.
I hang out in Westport a couple of nights a week, every week, but I don't think I knew that the bar to the west of Buzzard Beach was called Ernie Biggs until last summer. I always just knew it as That Dueling Piano Bar That Of Course I Have No Reason To Walk Into. A few months ago, I learned that Biggs (I call it Biggs for short now) kills it on Wednesdays, when the bar offers $1 wells and $1 drafts ALL NIGHT, which is until 1:30 a.m. That's some college-town shit.

Biggs also turned up on my radar this past December, when I heard that Muscle Worship was scheduled to play there on a Sunday night, which struck me as unusual. That show didn't end up panning out, but then last Sunday, I heard the Claque had a gig there, so I figured it was time to investigate. I went, and I saw the Claque blast some rawk, and I drank some $1 Pabst, and I'll tell you what else I did: I urinated. A couple of times, in fact.

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It's dark in the BIggs bathrooms, baby. Slick sinks, though. Anytime you're working with a non-white, non-U-shaped sink basin, you know you're riding in style. Everybody knows it's all about the horizontal sink these days.

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Here you can see the top of the general urinal setup in the men's room. (Apologies for the lack of ladies-room shots. I was unaware that the friend I sent in was shitfaced drunk, and I discovered the next day that her pictures were all blurry. From what I could tell, though, it was very sterile in there and mostly similar to the men's.) It's kind of a maze situation with the urinals. I'm into it. Lots of privacy, lots of barriers. Ninety-degree angles. Just this nice little pen of six urinals.

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Pretty maids all in a row. Have we discussed colored urinals before? I'm a fan. Nothing says class like a jet-black commode.

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My boy Scoops actually took all these pictures, but when he handed me his phone to look at them, I took a picture of him urinating. Adds context, I think.

The bottom line on Biggs' bathrooms: Class act all the way.

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