by Jason Harper
I'm recovering today from a wild weekend of wocal wock and woll starring Wylde Chipmunk and the Cuddley-Poos, It's Over, the Pink Socks, the Rich Boys, Black Gasoline, your mother, the Last of the V8s, Baby Birds Don't Drink Milk, and the Republic Tigers (three nights, three venues, and your mom's house). So today I'm handing the wheel to our own Scott "Bartleby" Wilson, whose official title is Editorial Operations Manager but who basically sits in the dark listening to music, reading every word that will go to print and changing half of them. Occasionally, he gets a wild hair to write about music, and what he says is always great, so I hope you enjoy this, his first batch of flash reviews of recent releases.
But first, a brand-new video from a great fucking band that only me, Dan Aykroyd, Tec and Bill care about. Oh, and the Who likes them, too, because Pete and Roger are taking them on tour, mostly on the Canadian dates, natch. Enjoy.
Six-Second Reviews by Scott
Enemies Like This
If a conga line leaves CBGB's for the West Side Y in 1977 but doesn't shower there until 1979, how long does it take David Byrne to wake up from his bad dream?
Keep tracks 2 and 9
The Black Crowes tour Costco parking lots in a Jetta.
Journeyman soul singer ducks into a truck-stop convent with a Merle Haggard number, a Will Oldham song and a dusky version of Charlie Rich's "You Never Really Wanted Me."
Keep those songs
Young and Sexy
Panic When You Find It
At 3:20 a.m., you walk to the common area in your dorm to buy microwave popcorn from the vending machine. It won't take your last dollar, and there's no change in your room. You sit against the wall, staring at the machine, listening to someone in the first room off the hallway — the one who eats only cereal in the cafeteria and cries on the elevator -- play this album. She probably doesn't have a dollar, either.
Sell for a dollar.
The Hidden Cameras
Strings and glockenspiel and tambourines and Jew's harps and one of those Canada very dry singers — operata for preschoolers.
Dreamt for Light Years in the Belly of a Mountain
Raking leaves at the asylum, thinking about escape, preferring applesauce and lithium.
Loudon Wainwright III buys Nick Drake a scoop of rum-raisin at Baskin-Robbins. Damon McMahon can't quite make out what they tell each other, goes back for more butter-pecan and writes a song for the girl behind the counter.
Give Me a Wall
Nick Kent throws a birthday party at a roller rink, and the guys working the snack bar form a band for the occasion.
Electric Soft Parade
The Human Body EP
The Duraflame-log version of XTC.
Keep "Cold World" and "So Much Love"
Return to the Sea
The cast of The OC travels to Bikini Bottom to make crossover-episode history. Plankton killed Marissa.
Leave in a Long John Silver's
Declare a New State
The hunt for blue October.
Keep "Clouds" and "Darkest Things"
Too much Zeppo and Gummo, not enough Groucho and Harpo.
Keep "The Gambler"
Pet Shop Boys
The Vegas-theme-park years.
Keep "Undercover" and "Ice Age" and pour salt on the rest