Velour tracksuits: Clothes Whores Pet Peeve No. 8

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This is not okay.
  • This is not okay.

I have a friend, pictured at right (okay, a kitten-mutant-lady, but a friend nonetheless) who is a stripper. We'll call her Blue Springs.

Blue Springs owns half a dozen velour tracksuits in a variety of plushy colors. She says they're ideal in her line of work.

When she arrives for her shift at the club, she has to walk past all the patrons to get to the dressing room, and she wouldn't want to give them a free show. Tracksuit! Then, at the end of the night, when it's after 3 a.m. and all she wants to do is go to bed, all she has to do is put on the tracksuit and voila: instant PJs.

I've created a simple flow chart to diagram the occasions in which it is acceptable to wear a velour tracksuit. You can find it after the jump.


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