Break out the surgical masks and get ready to panic. The news says someone in Platte County may have swine flu. A sample from the person was sent to the Centers for Disease Control for confirmation (Missouri has yet to be listed on the CDC's board of "confirmed cases") but it could be just a matter of hours before the Show-Me State gets the recognition it so richly deserves. Take that Kansas! You know what else we know? Just about nothing -- other than the world being on the verge of a pandemic. Oh, and former Kansas Gov. and newly crowned world heavyweight champion of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius will take questions about H1N1 (the less sexy name for swine flu) at noon during a Webcast by clicking here. You guys e-mail questions to email@example.com, and I'll just be over here with some Purell, a shotgun and The Zombie Survival Guide.