Daily Briefs: Super-Positive Rainbow Teddy Bear Monday





The generally negative valence of Daily Briefs has been pointed out to me recently, much to my shock and amazement, a hybrid emotion that dog breeders have called "shamazement." Starting today, with Super-Positive Rainbow Teddy Bear Monday, and continuing tomorrow with Happy Flower Club Ice Cream and Puppies Tuesday, you'll be seeing a whole new morning news roundup while you drink what I assume is your fifth or sixth cup of coffee, since it's not like this gets published in the wee hours of the morning.


I know it's raining outside, you guys, but that's no reason to have a gloomy case of the Mondays! This morning, I'm trading in my usual catch-phrase ("This hand lotion smells like hot dogs!") for my new cloudy Monday catch-phrase, "Life is a rainbow -- it's made of white sunlight refracted through water or any other medium with a given refractive index and dispersed into its constituent color components at different angles." I actually stole that from an inspirational office poster.


(click through for the amazing slideshow!)

To make you feel even better about life, I'll point out that ordinarily, I would have posted this actual screenshot from the Huffington Post as an example of the domination of a dying world's E.C.G. readout, the Internet, by people who I might have characterized via a multi-morpheme sobriquet incorporating the word "douche" and the derivational suffix "-tard." But instead, I'll suggest emailing the link to your mom, because it's good to stay in touch with your mom, and I genuinely think that she would find the slideshow about Hillary Clinton's brooches to be both interesting and funny! She might also like the other offerings at the Huffington Post, such as anything written by Jamie Lee Curtis or Nora Ephron.


Scary news, made cute! There's only one story in the news worth talking or thinking about, but refracting the terrifying global swine flu outbreak through the prism of Super-Positive Rainbow Teddy Bear Monday is proving to be quite a challenge! The best I could come up with was this Anne Geddes photograph of a cute li'l baby dressed up like the swine flu virus:


He's so totally adorable and orthomyxoviral! The best method I know of for imparting bad or scary news is via the medium of cute babies or, alternatively, cute puppies. For some information about the European Union advising people not to travel to North America, click on this unbelievably precious beagle puppy:

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