A Very Bad Royals Fan


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Yesterday we had no chance. This was the kind of game when even devoted fans leave early. After all, this town gave up on the Royals some time ago.

The Royals trailed 6-0 to Tim Lincecum, who looks like a 15-year-old but is one of the most talented pitchers in the National League. Not only did they fall behind 6-0, they looked awful doing so. Even a brief comeback to cut the lead in half was quickly squelched, as the Giants scored four times to lead the game 10-3 in the fifth inning. Even when the Royals cut it to 10-5 (a rally ended by a horrific call by the plate umpire) and Lincecum left the game, that burst of scoring seemed a footnote to a game destined for The March Of Nondescript Middle Relievers.

The most remarkable play of the game was a sprawling catch by a fan over the third-base dugout. At least the Monarchs uniforms looked cool.

And then the Giants' bullpen imploded, allowing five consecutive hits in the sixth inning en route to a five-run rally to tie the game. Two innings later, the Royals shockingly, inexplicably, led the game, with Ron Mahay and Joakim Soria shutting down the Giants in the last four innings.

There haven’t been that many memorable wins in the last decade of Royals baseball. Rey Sanchez’s home run prompted Denny Matthews to loudly wonder “what on Earth is going on?” Mendy Lopez, of all people, won a home opener with a walk-off homer.

By then, though, I had long since given up. Thank God DVR was invented for those who lose faith.


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