Five tips for stealing candy from children on Halloween

by

4 comments

Color is not a bad organizational scheme.
  • Flickr: Ninahale
  • Color is not a bad organizational scheme.
It's not right to steal candy from babies — this we can all accept. But children, especially your own, are absolutely fair game on Halloween. We have a responsibility as adults to check and taste candy. As such, here are five tips for pulling off a successful candy caper from the tiny ghosts and goblins in your life (note: this is not a guide to bag jackin' — that ground has been covered).

5. Set the expectations. Let them know their candy will be taken. Children live in a structured world, so set the parameters that candy is more of a loaner than a keeper.

4. Get them to organize it first. Arguably the most important step in the heist. Whether they lay it out by color or filling (chocolate, nougat, other), this saves you from digging through the Dum Dums to get to the peanut butter cups.

3. Explain that this is for safety. Thankfully, the poison and razor blade mythology of hidden candy dangers is not a familiar idea to this generation. Still, you can now play the ultimate trump card — this is something that parents must do to keep their children safe. Tell them to think it of as Halloween reparations.

2. The Candy Tax. Repeat this oath aloud: I, your [insert relationship here], am required to take candy in the name of [insert parental figure or guardian or favorite cartoon here]. Use this as a teaching moment to explain that we all must contribute to society in order for it to continue functioning.

1. Wait until they are asleep. You can stay up later. Just hold out a while and the entire stash is yours. Find a scapegoat — your dog is a fine candidate.

Comments (4)

Showing 1-4 of 4

Add a comment
 

Add a comment