by Eric Barton
By ERIC BARTON
The pink-and-rhinestone hat in question.
Earlier today, Dave "Chilidog" Crawford, the cross-dressing local punk rocker, sent out a MySpace bulletin titled "I don't get a free pink hat? Well fuck you."
Crawford's message explained that he went to the Royals game last night and expected he would be one of 20,000 fans given a pink Royals hat adorned with rhinestones for the team's "Girls' Night Out" promotion. "I Love pink and often choose to wear this color as an expression of who I am," Crawford wrote. Then he explained what happened when he asked for a hat:
"To be told (in a loud obnoxious voice by an employee named Bill) 'What's to talk about? It's ladies night and you're not a lady.' When I questioned him about why I couldn't receive a hat, he was hurtful and infuriating. While I eventually was able to calm down and enjoy the victory by our Royals, I still harbor a resentment and feeling of exclusion that will, in the future, prompt me to consider entertainment options other that baseball."
Well, Chilidog, I've got some good news.
My wife went to last night's game, too. They gave her a rhinestone-covered had, which she threw in her closet last night before I got a chance to see it. She's not the type to wear pink, especially not with rhinestones. So I asked her if she'd wear it mowing the lawn.
"Are you kidding?" she said.
So, Chilidog, my wife's pink-and-rhinestone Royals hat is all yours. It's at the front desk at The Pitch — with your name on it.